Marketing companies have become exceptionally nefarious. Have you been called (usually at the dinner hour) by a 1-800 number only to have no one answer? Now, we don’t usually answer our phone anyways (because it’s dead, can’t be found, or we simply don’t care) but occasionally, we do. Seriously.
Anyways, this 1-800 number keeps calling us. Over, and over. I finally answer because they call a lot. But no one is ever there. So I finally called the 1-800 number back. Automated message by Gemma corporation: If you want to hear our great marketing options, please hit 1. If you want to be removed from our system, please call 18820201039 (dashes removed to emphasize the quickness of speaking).
So I let my fingers do the walking…there you are: 416-256-1800.
Operator: Gemma Com
Me: Is this Gemma?
Operator: Gemma Com
Me: So Gemma?
Me: What time is it?
Operator: I’m not sure.
Me: I’ve called to chat.
Operator: I’m sorry?
Me: I’ve called to have a little conversation with you.
Operator: I’m not following.
Me: Well, you keep calling and wasting my time, so now I’m calling and wasting yours.
Operator: Oh. Uhhh, do you want to be removed from our list?
Operator: How can I help you then?
Me: Oh nothing. But everytime you call me, I’m going to call you. So we can chat.
Operator: That’s not very nice.
Me: No, no it’s not.
Of course, Kari then followed it up approximately 2 minutes later when Sears marketing called. She simply hit talk on the phone, then put the phone down…hopefully preventing them disconnecting. Simple, but effective.
Had you thought about stewing on it all night and then writing a terse, and long email?
Agreeing with Brian on this one. Too much fantasy writing has you muddled. You should have had the “Ryan” character pitch the phone across the room or into the nearest closet. Then email everyone he knows, complaining loudly about how much he hates phones and expecting sympathy from friends who just shake their heads in amazement and tell him to get over it already! Done and done.
That was a fun little short story, but I felt it was lacking in a little bit of something that would have grounded it in the “real world”.
For example, I find it hard to believe that the “Ryan” character would ever answer the phone. I find it further hard to believe that this Ryan character would subsequently call someone up regarding this fictitious phone call that they answered.
Then to add that “approximately 2 minutes later” the “Kari” character also picked up the phone? Come now friend. Your writing should have at least a SEMBLANCE of reality, something to ground the viewer so that they feel connected to what you’re writing.
This was a sub-par effort at best, and I give it a solid C- on the writing scale.
Maybe adding a dragon with a horde of treasure next time will be a little more believable.
Or a unicorn.