Ever heard of Tony’s Pizza? Neither had I. Until two days ago. I thought I was getting too close to my weight goal (7 pounds to go)…things were getting too easy.

The flu took another 2lbs off (nice!). Why, over Christmas, what could possibly go wrong?

Tony’s Pizza is what could go wrong. Like a freight train made of pepperoni, bacon, and ham, it burst into my house and left us desperately trying to loosen our belts.

Mmmm, doesn’t it look good? The ‘wetness’ you see on the cardboard is the goodness. Who would ever think that bacon, ham, pepperoni and cheese could cause so much grease.

Now, the pizza wouldn’t be bad on it’s own, but I ate Santa’s face two days ago. Chomped it right down. His face was made of chocolate. What did he expect me to do? He was just sitting there, taunting me.

Eat me. Eat me. Eat me.

Screw you, Santa, I won’t listen.

Eat me. Eat me. Eat me.

But it kept winking at me, mocking me, flaunting it’s sugary goodness in my face — what did it EXPECT me to do?

Uggh, I don’t feel so good.