As chronicled here over the past couple of weeks, you might have heard that tragic news of Elizabeth Collins passing. She was the CEO of Gardenia and the driving force behind the publishing house.

Bob Collions sent me my options the other night. They’re not bad, and kind of what I had expected. In fact, the one option is something I had considered myself.

The first option is to withdraw from the publishing contract completely. Gardenia Press won’t be accepting any new novels for publication, so the few authors left would be the last to be put out by Gardenia. Which is too bad. I’ve considered this option, wondering if perhaps my novel would better be suited for one of the big players from Canada or the United States.

The second option is that we continue with publication, knowing that there won’t be a lot of support behind this book. Which is kind of okay too. More of the costs will be shouldered by myself, but then more of the rewards will come my way, as well.

What’s the disadvantage of the second option? Well, first rights would be gone. Publishers want the First Print rights. So if I go ahead with publishing, Nathaniel is effectively a sacrifice to the publishing gods for the sole purpose of having that writing credit. With only my marketing saavy behind the book, there’s no way it could go on to reach any type of success. The Gardenia distribution just isn’t strong enough.

What has changed? Why am I hesitating?

Because I have learned a lot. And I mean a lot. I know that my query letters are crap. I know that my books need a lot of editing. I know that I was lucky to have gotten as far as I did.

My query letters didn’t contain any type of a pitch.

My novels were full of inconsistencies and errors.

Now that I know those mistakes, should I hold back Nathaniel and head out to the big publishers? Or just go ahead and publish…

I just don’t know.

Any comments would be appreciated.