Just got a brand-spanking new laptop. Yup, not even a reconditioned (as I’m so apt to do). I bought a Lenovo IdeaPad Y530-3231U. I could give you the stats, but nobody cares. Suffice to say, it’s got a good assortment.

A webcam if I wanted to publish my own porn. Lots of RAM so I can run Vista. And…gasp..licensed software. I kid you not. The RCMP could break into the office and go through the laptop and they’d only find a smattering of illegal software. Most of it is actual, licensed stuff.

But then there’s this thing called Vista. Created by Microsoft because they realized they couldn’t enact my original plan (I always thought Bill Gates should’ve shown everyone how powerful he really was and simply shut MS doors forever…and watch the economy crumble…now that’s power). Instead, they created a nag for an OS.

I’m sitting there watching TV. “Are you sure you want to be watching TV?” Vista asks. Yes, I’m sure. “Maybe you should be shoveling the driveway,” it says. It’s a condo, we don’t shovel. “You can always organize your spice drawer”. Damn, leave me alone Vista. Let me live my life without you intruding.

So I shut down nag-mode, turn off the five layers of security (I think we need another deadbolt on that door…you can never be too safe….oh, I also installed a club on all toilet seats to prevent unauthorized use).

But then I couldn’t connect wirelessly to the internet. Spent SIX HOURS TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. Suddenly, Vista wasn’t so talkative. “Perhaps you have your webcam set up improperly” or “are you sure you want to change your font size?” Those weren’t helpful.

So after sifting through the pages and pages of ‘I Hate Fucking Vista’ from my Google search (try it, there are a lot), I found my solution.

Lot into the router. Change the pass phrase (you can even make it the same as before). Reconnect with your computer

Well, it worked. But does that mean I have to do that EVERY time I try to log in someone (excuse me, do you mind if I log in to your router and change your password)?

Stupid, stupid.

I wish I would’ve bought a Mac (okay, okay, I bought my laptop for $700…which I think gets you a keyboard in Appleland).