Kari must’ve noticed I was getting old. You know, the enlarged prostate, my inability to reproduce, the liver spots on my face, and that I like to say ‘whipper-snapper’. So she decided to throw me a party to celebrate my 35th birthday. She must be getting old too, because Friday wasn’t actually my birthday.

She did a fantastic job. With the lies, the deceit. She’s really good at it (that’s a compliment). Kari even got my mother to lie, which is impressive.

So she had my Mom come over to babysit, while we went to Moxies for a few drinks and some appetizers. When my mom called to tell me to ‘come home because the kids are sick’ I sprung into action and ordered another drink. Of course, with 35 people packed into my house (which has no AC)…guess it got a little warm in there. Hehe.

When they finally yelled ‘Surprise’ I beat the first person to death thinking that death squads had taken over my house — it was the whole flight or fight thing. (okay, it was flight…I ran like a little girl).

There were a good amount of people here. Tons of food. And booze. John, as usual, was on the BBQ. My Dad and Sylvia told me they were taking the kids in the morning so that I could sleep in (score!). Of course, that turned out to be a lie…but I still decided that a few extra drinks were in order.

I knew I had probably reached my limit when my mom asked me what I was going to do the next day and I replied ‘Hookers and Blow’. Hmmm, my mom didn’t appreciate the comment (but my Dad did).

So a big thank you to all the attendees…and for all the lies, broken promises, and deception. Because, that’s what makes a party, right?