It’s 3pm in the afternoon. It’s been over an hour and they’re still going at it. At first it was kind of funny. Now it’s just annoying.

Please God, make them stop.

Don’t they know that a quickie is supposed to be quick? Not passing judgment (okay, I am) but if you’re doing someone in your office, it’s supposed to be fast.

I don’t want to hear porn star sounds. I don’t want to here him exclaim ‘yessss’. In fact, I don’t want to know that there’s an erect penis in the office next to me. Because someday, I might meet the guy and all I’ll be able to think about is that he’s the guy who was having sex 10 feet away from me.

I just want them to finish and leave.

Maybe I’m a prude.

Or maybe I want to keep sex where it belongs. In the internet, in locked bathrooms, and in sex dens in Thailand.

Damn it, is there no etiquette anymore?