Brian Garside is an evil person. So evil, I’m registering the domain stopbriangarside.com (well, actually, I tried, but someone had already taken it).
Last night (Sunday) he said, ‘hey, why don’t you come over for dinner?’. I said ‘fantastic…Char won’t mind us just dropping in unannounced?’.
No, he said. Then reconsidered and said ‘okay, tomorrow’.
By tomorrow, he meant ‘never’. SOB. He said he’d have to bail. Wait a minute, you can’t bail when you’re the host. SOB again!
So here we are, now with no dinner.
Paige, in her hunger pains, has taken up heroine, as hungry people are apt to do. She is a shell of her former self. She has pawned all her puppies for another hit. Very sad. A spiral of madness (a quick spiral, which is amazing because she’s normally a dawdler).
Cordy, too small to use a needle, decided to drink herself silly. Not with booze. No, with water. The UNFILTERED water. The LEAD water. All that lead has stunted her development. Now, she has the intelligence of a 14 month old.
Kari has decided that since I can’t provide for her, she’d pick up someone from the food bank who can.
And what about me?
Well, I’m just hungry.
Damn you, Garside. Damn you to hell.