Excerpt from newest short story called Cold Dark:
Uncle Jack hovered over me. I could smell him he was so close. Road grime, old cigarettes, coffee, and stale sweat. I didn’t like it.
His knees popped as he knelt to my level. You keep an eye on your old man. You understand?
Theres something wrong with him. He swiveled his head, staring past me to the house, as if my father might suddenly reappear.
Wheres your mum? he asked. He reached out, brushed something off my shoulder. Why’d he keep touching me?
He was chewing on the side of his cheek. A boy needs his mum.
My dad does all right.
Im going to tell you a secret. Can you keep a secret?
Can I tell Sam?
No. This is for you alone.
He leaned forward and I thought he was going to try to kiss me. I tried to back pedal but his hands were on my shoulders. I could taste his breath and I didnt like it. Your dad is going to try to do you wrong. He mustve seen the slight shake of my head.
Hes going to kill you, boy. Now you understand?
Good start! I want to read more, so hurry up and write it. (Not to put pressure on you or anything.
Okay, ryan that’s a mean tease. You gotta post more than that….
Read the whole thing! Magnificent! Both chilling and poignant. There are some nits to pick…if Eileen hasn’t picked them all…Nothing serious. tone and texture are excellent. I thought I would get to it tonight…but I’m turning into pumpkin so it will have to wait till tomorra…